Accomplishments or 25 reasons I can slow down

1. My poem “American Dream” is archived on the moon.
2. My award-winning haiku is archived at the Woody Guthrie Center.
3. I’ve read my poetry on podcasts and several radio stations.
4. My poems have been transformed into songs and inspired visual art.
5. I served as my city’s poet laureate.
6. I have shared the stage with musicians I admire and state poets laureate from multiple states.
7. A US poet laureate heard me perform.
8. I have won 40+ county fair ribbons for poetry.
9. I am published in over 100 anthologies by over 50 different publishers.
10. I’ve written thousands of poems, publishing 21 poetry collections.
11. I have edited 3 anthologies.
12. I’m published on 4 continents in 10 countries and in 18 different US states.
13. I’ve been mentioned in the press upwards of 75 times.
14. I’ve performed for four different political parties and synagogues of all movements.
15. I’ve performed in small towns and large cities.
16. I’ve performed at folk festivals, county fairs, and art festivals.
17. I’ve performed in bookstores, libraries, and literary festivals.
18. I’ve performed at bars, wineries, cafes, and dispensaries.
19. I’ve performed at museums, art galleries, and public parks.
20. I’ve performed for thousands of protesters at demonstrations.
21. I’ve organized and hosted both open mics and feature shows.
22. I’ve performed supporting women’s rights, civil rights, and workers’ rights.
23. I’ve been recognized by three mayors and the city council five times.
24. I’ve been recognized by the California Legislature, California Arts Council, and Solano County.
25. I’ve judged poetry writing contests and live performances for both adults and teenagers.

What of the future?

The act of writing poetry is one of solitude, but many of these accomplishments are thanks to the hundreds of people who enjoyed my poetry enough to invite me to perform or publish my work, and the community leaders who chose to honor me for it.

I’ve accomplished so much it is hard to find any new goals to aim for, so I have opted towards slowing down. One does not need to earn rest, but even poets laureate deserve to be able to rest on their laurels even if temporarily. The first time you accomplish or participate in something it is exciting, but it is important to maintain some variety for novelty’s sake, or even your wildest dreams can feel routine and burn you out.

I’d still love to be published at least once in all fifty states, many more countries, and if there’s ever an anthology call for English language poetry in South America, it is the only inhabited continent that I haven’t been published by someone else in.

I’d like to add that this is all without needing to memorize my poetry for performance, earning an MFA, or having a traditionally published poetry collection. The mountain is the same, but there are many pathways to climb it, and there is no top. Once you reach the peak, there is always another mountain on the horizon.

I’ve been struggling with writer’s block when it comes to poetry since I hit my 40s, and for the first time in almost a decade I don’t have a long enough manuscript to release a new book in 2026. It is a combination of medications interfering with my creative process, making it harder to write on demand; my neighborhood becoming too noisy in recent years for me to concentrate on my intellectual interests; and the fact that after 21 books, I’ve probably already written about most subjects already at least once.

I do hope to reach 500 performances, but it doesn’t have to be this year or even next year. I’m more likely to say yes if an event is less than two hours in duration, offers me at least 20 minutes, and pays me to offset the rising cost of travel. I get tired of reading the same poems over and over, and I’m certain audiences, often made up of the same 20 local poets, get tired of a lack of new material on my part. After all I’m not a rock star with an established catalogue of hits to which people want to sing along.

The other issue is accessibility. Venues don’t always provide podiums or mic stands, and I’m sure I’m not the only writer who has carpal tunnel syndrome. When I accept a gig that requires travel beyond the North Bay, I have to schedule in several recovery days due to the amount of sitting inherent in just getting to a place. I’ve struggled with a bad back for over a decade, so there’s only so much sitting in hard fold out chairs that I can take before I wind up being unable to walk for a few days due to pain.

I was handling this by accepting gigs and going to open mics that had alcohol available, but while a drink or two does help in the social relations department, I think I am a much stronger performer with a more authoritative voice when I am sober. Plus there’s only so many weekends you can have a drink in your 40s before it starts negatively affecting your physical and mental health.

It was easier when I was hosting events or when I am the featured performer because I could stand and move around through most of the event. However, many organizers are hosting poetry events that stretch beyond two hours without intermission. By hour two of an event my mind is more focused on how much pain I am in than what gems of wisdom my fellow poets may be dropping in their works. It’s also considered rude to “read and run,” so I’ve opted for not showing up, and putting my health and wellbeing first. It’s nothing personal if I haven’t made an appearance at your event in recent years. If I had the capacity to go to ten open mics in our county a month, I certainly would.

For now I see all of these accomplishments and obstacles as permission to take a break. I have made my mark on the world, and I’m in no danger of opportunities going away if I choose to seek them out. I am just more choosy about when I am willing to say yes. In recent years I’ve combined visiting my family in Oklahoma with performance opportunities once or twice a year.

However, I know that my limitations make this not something I can do on a regular basis across the entire country like other poets that I know who have a constant tour schedule across North America. I certainly cannot without monetary compensation and disability accommodations that allow for alone time to rest, recover, and recharge during travel. Dreams are wonderful, sparking joy and adventure, but they are often tempered by reality. I still see an astounding number of accomplishments in the past decade in spite of this, and one only need glance at this list to see how ambitious I was.